*much luff to you for being my most constructively critical reviewer*

I don't think it was my best, no. I do think I'll be rewriting at least some parts of this so that they make more sense. Mostly I'm trying to get a feel for writing in the abstract. I dunno, did you get what the rain was supposed to symbolise? There was a meaning behind it I'm not sure I brought across very well. So no, I'm not quite there yet. I do need more work on writing in this style, don't I?

*hopes she sees something else that will inspire more so she can practise*