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Fanfic - Kaleidoscope [The Prince of Tennis: Tezuka/Ryoma]
Part One
Ryoma is used to sleeping with Karupin, and he always reaches out in his sleep when he finds that familiar warmth missing. This is his excuse, he thinks, and he’s sticking to it.
“Echizen,” Tezuka says, his voice muffled. This may be because Ryoma is lying sprawled on top of him.
“Sorry,” Ryoma mutters and pushes himself up awkwardly. He’s taken the blankets with him in his fall and now he gets tangled in them, half-falling back onto Tezuka. His hand ends up planted on Tezuka’s chest as he attempts to get leverage, and Tezuka’s reaching up now to steady him, one hand on his hip and the other on his arm, and their legs are pretty much a tangled mess of bedding. This is the scene which Tezuka’s mother walks in on.
“Oh my,” she says.
“A little help?” he asks, and she loses the stunned look and starts laughing instead. Breakfast is on the table, she explains as she helps extricate them from the bedding. She and Tezuka’s grandfather are leaving now to go into town and Tezuka’s dad has left early for work today. Tezuka is finally able to sit up, rubbing his collarbone where Ryoma had accidentally elbowed him.
“Sorry,” Ryoma repeats.
“Kiss it better,” Tezuka’s mother suggests, and leaves with an impish grin. Ryoma stares after her. He’s a little red when he looks back at Tezuka, but Tezuka politely pretends not to notice.
Well, that’s no fun, Ryoma thinks. On the heels of that thought comes another: what would buchou look like if he were flustered?
Ryoma leans forward and pushes Tezuka’s t-shirt out of the way, unhesitatingly placing a kiss on the taut skin. He can feel the shape of the bone beneath his lips, the minute shift of skin and muscle that precedes Tezuka raising his hands and setting them on Ryoma’s shoulders.
“Echizen,” Tezuka says, and his voice is quiet and somehow different from anything Ryoma’s ever heard. The closest to it, Ryoma thinks as he chances a look at Tezuka’s eyes, is when he’s played particularly well in a game and Tezuka tells him he did a good job.
Tezuka’s eyes are full of that same difference, and then Tezuka’s moving closer and lightly pressing his face into Ryoma’s hair. Ryoma watches him lean in and thinks that Tezuka looks beautiful without his glasses on.
“Breakfast,” Tezuka says, nudging Ryoma away. “Or I’ll be late to class.”
Tezuka finds an extra toothbrush for Ryoma and they’re sitting down to breakfast in record speed. Tezuka manages to find time for a quick shower and then he and Ryoma leave the house. Ryoma walks Tezuka to the station, then heads for home, feeling somehow lighter than he’s been in a long time.
“It’s three in the morning,” Nanjirou growls into the phone.
“Not here it isn’t,” Ryoma says calmly. “Just thought I’d tell you that I played buchou.” Then he hangs up and imagines his dad spluttering into the phone. He doesn’t know how his dad knew – he certainly hasn’t told him – but he’s not going to debase himself by asking. The memory of the minor revenge he’s taken stays with him the whole day and he’s cheery as he goes for a run that evening.
He meets Kaidoh-senpai and Inui-senpai along the way and they show him a better route he can take. It’s got more of an uphill slope to it and it’s quieter, with fewer people and little traffic. He hasn’t had the chance to see buchou in a few days, so they haven’t spoken about what happened at all. Meeting Inui-senpai and Kaidoh-senpai is lucky, Ryoma thinks as they run steadily together.
Very lucky, Ryoma discovers, because Inui mentions without any prompting that Tezuka has recently appeared to be in a good mood. Kaidoh asks how he can tell, and Ryoma’s not sure if he’s serious or not. Tezuka has been letting minor infractions go, Inui explains, and if he had the authority to be assigning laps, he’s sure that fewer laps would have been run by the club in general.
“Maybe he got laid,” Ryoma suggests impudently, and is then treated to a long diatribe from a scarlet Kaidoh on how he should respect his elders. Ryoma huffs and agrees in a tone of voice that suggests he’s doing anything but.
He knows his suggestion isn’t true. Not yet.
“You tell what kind of mood Tezuka’s in by how many laps he assigns?” Ryoma asks Inui, only semi-seriously.
“It’s a good gauge,” Kaidoh agrees thoughtfully. Ryoma shrugs.
“What do you use?” Inui asks, and Ryoma fancies he can see Inui’s fingers itching for his notebook and pen. He considers his response.
“What he says, I guess,” he finally replies, and refuses to elaborate when Inui presses. What he says and what he doesn’t, he thinks. Tezuka doesn’t use words; he speaks through tennis. And even through tennis you can tell more from what he doesn’t say than from what he does. Or from how he says what he does, because Tezuka’s like a kaleidoscope, dizzying and beautiful and never static and always somehow mysterious.
That night, he dreams that he’s playing in the French Open. It’s Tezuka across the net from him. Grand Slam, he thinks, what will it take to win a Grand Slam, and then Tezuka’s serving and just as he returns the serve, just as his racquet connects with the ball, he wakes up.
There’s an email from Tezuka waiting in his inbox when he checks it after breakfast. Come to club practice today, it says. And what have you been saying to Hatori-sensei? He has signed off as Tezuka.
There’s also a message on his phone from a number that he doesn’t recognise at first. Then he remembers that it’s Ryuuzaki-sensei’s. What have you been up to, you brat? I had to entertain Hatori for five hours yesterday! it says, and he smirks when he reads it.
I’m innocent! he texts to Tezuka’s phone, and goes out for a morning run. There’s something very peaceful about jogging at this time of day, he muses, when most of the children are in school and the adults are at work and there’s so little traffic. The sun’s warm but not uncomfortably hot, and the wind is at just the right speeds to be pleasant. He’s calm and centred and relaxed when he gets home. A quick shower to sluice away the sweat and then he digs into the lunch that Nanako’s made up for him, wondering what time he should leave. Tezuka hadn’t specified when he was supposed to show up.
He arrives just before practice starts and spends a few minutes standing by the fence, watching the other club members as they warm up and do practice swings. Some of them show promise, he thinks. He picks out Kachiro and Katsuo, who are practicing their swings together. They look like they’ve improved, but he’d need to see them in a game to know for sure.
“Echizen-san!” Hatori says, and Ryoma turns and nods at the coach, who’s jogged up to him. “Tezuka-san passed on my message then?”
“He told me to come down,” Ryoma says with a shrug. “What else did you want to say?”
Hatori looks suddenly sheepish. “The truth is, I was wondering if you could give me your opinion on something,” he says, and Ryoma thinks that it’s very odd for a grown man to be asking a fifteen-year-old for advice.
“You can ask,” he says, and Hatori acts as if he’s agreed to help.
“You see, the ranking system here is based on a series of matches played at the beginning of each school year,” he explains. “I found out from Ryuuzaki-sensei that the middle school holds them more regularly than that. Do you think that’s good?”
“It forces them to keep their skills sharp,” Ryoma says. “It stops them from getting complacent. And it motivates the non-regulars if they think there’s a chance they’ll get into a regular’s spot.”
“Ah, so it’s true then,” Hatori says. Ryoma looks at him uninterestedly. “I think I might implement the system here,” Hatori goes on eagerly. “Frankly, Seigaku high school doesn’t have the same reputation for tennis that the middle school does.”
Ryoma glances back out over the courts. “You’ve got a long way to go,” he agrees. “But you’ve got some good players this year.”
“Of course,” Hatori says. “Ah, excuse me now. I should go get practice started.”
“Can I join in the practice?” Ryoma asks impulsively. “Just for today.”
“Oh, certainly!” Hatori enthuses, and Ryoma can see the thoughts running through his head – that it’s good publicity, that it’s good motivation, that it’ll make good dinner-time conversation, guess who came to practice with my team today – and he almost decides to retract his request. Then he catches sight of his old team-mates walking out of the clubroom together and he shrugs mentally. Small price to pay.
Come to think of it, it’s like the whole deal with the sponsors, Ryoma thinks as he heads towards his team (always his team, why can’t he stop thinking of them like that?). Doing things you don’t want to and that have nothing to do with tennis. Playing politics. It’s stupid, but you can’t get away from it.
“Ochibi!” Kikumaru squeals and grabs him in a tight hug. Momo’s a second behind him, ruffling Ryoma’s hair roughly. Ryoma thinks that he’ll be lucky to have any hair left by the time he gets out of their grip.
“Senpai!” he complains, trying vainly to get out of their death-grips.
The others crowd round to greet him, and for some reason Horio and Kachiro and Katsuo are there too, and it’s so much like old times that Ryoma’s a little thrown. Pity Kawamura-senpai isn’t here, he thinks, and then spots a familiar cheerful face moving towards them.
“Ah, it’s true!” Kawamura exclaims as he reaches the courts. “I was just leaving when I heard someone say that Echizen came by again today.”
“Echizen is being killed by his supposed team,” Ryoma says, voice muffled by the stranglehold Kikumaru has on him. Kikumaru pouts and lets go of him. Momo slaps him lightly on the head with his racquet.
“Be more respectful,” he says. Ryoma looks at him, then looks at Kaidoh, who’s at the back of the group trying to look like he doesn’t care that Ryoma’s there.
“Well, Kaidoh-senpai’s there, so you’re not him in disguise,” he muses. “Hey, Momo-senpai. How much time have you been spending with Kaidoh-senpai?” Momo turns red and Kaidoh turns redder and Oishi tries and fails to hide a grin.
“Practice is starting,” Tezuka reminds them, staving off possible Death by Momo. Ryoma makes a mental note to do something nice for Tezuka later.
He and Tezuka play another match. Fuji complains that Tezuka’s hogging him, but there’s no heat to the words, so Ryoma ignores him and loses himself in the game. Everything seems to be coming together perfectly today; his shots are exactly on target, he finds himself reading Tezuka so much better than he used to be able to and he’s reaching shots that he knew he wouldn’t have been able to get a few months ago. Ryoma wins the match, if barely, and he’s so exhausted that his legs tremble as he walks up to the net to shake Tezuka’s hand.
“Have you found it again?” Tezuka asks him.
“Yes,” Ryoma replies, and ducks his head so that he’ll be able to get himself under control. Why does it surprise him that though his game hadn’t outwardly faltered over the past year, Tezuka had still realised that something was wrong with him? “Thank you,” he adds belatedly, thinking that they’re inadequate words for everything that Tezuka has done for him, for everything that Tezuka continues to do for him.
“Are you going back to it?” Tezuka asks as they slowly walk off the courts. Inui offers Ryoma a water bottle as Kouno tries to get the astounded club members to go back to their own practice. Tezuka grabs his own bottle and sits down on the bench. Ryoma slumps onto the bench next to him, loosely gripping the bottle. He’s too tired right now to focus on drinking.
“Are you?” he counters.
“Of course,” Tezuka tells him without hesitation.
“Likewise,” Ryoma mutters, and summons up the energy to drink his water. Two seconds later, he’s gagging and throwing the bottle at Inui indignantly.
On Christmas Eve, two birds decide to wake Ryoma up with a duet. Seven o’clock, his alarm clock tells him mockingly, and he throws a pillow at his window, disgruntled. The morning becomes slightly better when he goes down for breakfast to find that Nanako’s made all his favourite foods. She still has to go to work, but she’s going in late today. They laze around the house watching television and making fun of the bad serials on air. Nanako wonders what married life would be like. Fine, as long as he’s not like that idiot, Ryoma says, and Nanako laughs.
She leaves a little later after reminding Ryoma that she’s staying over at her boyfriend’s that night. Ryoma lazes around the house. No practice for today, he thinks as he finds a book to read and makes himself comfortable in the hall. His mother calls at one – exactly twelve there, he thinks, how like her – and he talks to her for a while, feeling a little nostalgic. Not for America, he thinks, but just for her and a house that doesn’t feel so empty despite Nanako’s best efforts. But what will it be like when he returns to America?
He talks to Karupin for a few minutes. His cat deafens him by yowling in his ear.
“He misses you,” his mother tells him. Karupin’s mewling has that pathetic pick-me-up undertone to it that Ryoma recognises.
“He wants to be cuddled. Tell him I’ll be back in a week,” Ryoma says, and pretends the words don’t hurt.
At six o’clock, his team descends on his house in full force. Ryuuzaki-sensei’s there too, and her grand-daughter and that annoying friend of hers, and Horio and Kachiro and Katsuo. Be polite, Ryoma thinks resignedly, and wonders who invited them. But with his team there he’s not forced to interact with them much. He doesn’t have a problem with Ryuuzaki-sensei, he thinks, and even her grand-daughter would be tolerable if not for her completely obvious crush. He hopes that she’s outgrown it, but when she blushes red on seeing him and stammers out his name hesitantly, he knows she hasn’t.
He greets them, then runs to stop Kikumaru from accidentally destroying an innocent potted fern.
Kawamura-senpai is late, but because he’s bringing the food he’s instantly forgiven. There’s plenty of space for all of them to sit and eat together, and though Ryoma pretends to be put out about how Kikumaru keeps calling him “ochibi” still, he really doesn’t care, because this is his team, and they’re all there to see him, and who knows when he’ll next see them. Kawamura-senpai has already stopped playing, Ryoma thinks. How many of them will still be playing when next he meets them?
He notices that Tezuka has brought a bag with him. It’s big enough, Ryoma thinks, for a change of clothes, but not a racquet. Ryoma considers that for a moment, then shrugs.
Fuji’s brought his camera again. Ryoma corners him and demands a picture of the whole team. Fuji relinquishes the camera to Ryuuzaki-sensei, who gets them all in position with that commanding voice she still hasn’t lost. They don’t pose overtly; Fuji still has a wasabi roll in his hand and Momo and Kaidoh look like they’ve been interrupted mid-argument and Inui’s holding a glass of viscous, neon-orange liquid and Kikumaru is once again beside Ryoma, attempting to strangle him in a hug. Tezuka’s presence is warm at his back.
Fuji promises to get the photos developed soon, and to have copies made for all of them. “Before I leave,” Ryoma reminds him, and it’s like there’s a sudden pall falling over the party. Then everyone pretends he didn’t just say that and they go on and while Ryuuzaki-sensei shepherds the younger students away at ten, the rest of the team stay until almost midnight. One by one they leave, each wishing Ryoma well.
“Don’t let him go,” Fuji tells him at the door, and his eyes are serious and clear, even if his lips are still smiling. This, Ryoma thinks, is Fuji-senpai when he’s genuinely happy. It’s a rare sight.
“Of course not,” Ryoma says, not bothering to ask how Fuji knows. It’s a foundational truth of life. Inui-senpai and Fuji-senpai Know Everything.
At last, only Tezuka’s left. The actual foundation of life, Ryoma thinks, and meets Tezuka’s steady gaze with an impertinent, cocksure smile. “Staying the night?” he asks, and it comes as no surprise when Tezuka closes the distance between them and seals their lips together.
They wake up entangled in bedding again. Ryoma thinks that this may be their lot in life. Tezuka untwines the blankets from around them and then gets distracted by Ryoma’s legs and then they’re kissing again and they only actually get up from the bed half an hour later.
There’s something to this making out business, Ryoma thinks in satisfaction as he takes a quick shower. For once his father makes a little sense, even if he’s always waxing eloquent about entirely the wrong type of body.
Tezuka showers after him and Ryoma throws together a hasty breakfast. Tezuka sits at the table, straight-backed and neat, managing to look somehow stern and proper, even in casual clothes. Ryoma pulls his chair right up next to Tezuka’s and very deliberately slides a leg over Tezuka’s thigh.
Tezuka waits until they’ve finished eating before he reacts.
They re-surface from Ryoma’s room for lunch, after which they play a quick, casual match. Ryoma finds it a little harder than usual to concentrate, because whenever Tezuka jumps, his shirt flies up a little and Ryoma catches a glimpse of a darkening bruise just above his hip. But he settles into the game soon enough and the reward at the end is a lot better than it normally is. He could get used to this very easily, he thinks vaguely, and then Tezuka does something with his tongue that renders higher thought functions impossible.
Best Christmas ever, Ryoma thinks later as they lie spooned together. They’ve both grown, and their bodies have changed, but he still fits into the curve of Tezuka’s body. He remembers that one time on the bus when he’d fallen asleep on Tezuka. Different, and yet still the same, and he drifts into a restful half-doze.
Tezuka leaves at nine that night. Ryoma doesn’t want to let go, but eventually they disengage their lips and fingers and Tezuka breathes, “Tomorrow,” against his ear and he finally lets Tezuka go home.
He thinks of Tezuka that night and suddenly, inexplicably, finds his eyes full of tears. He brushes them away angrily and buries his face in his pillow and resolutely refuses to think.
By the time the end of the year rolls around, he’s learned almost everything there is to know about Tezuka’s body. Almost, because Tezuka slaps his hands every time they wander too far below his waist, but even with that restriction he’s still figured out how to make Tezuka lose his composure.
He remembers once wondering what buchou would look like when he was flustered. He now has his answer, but it’s not something he can put into words. He hopes no one else ever sees it. This is one thing he’ll be completely possessive about, and Tezuka doesn’t seem to mind because the look on Ryoma’s face when Tezuka touches him is something he’s possessive about too.
The name “Tezuka” rolls off his tongue a little easier now, and once he has cried out “Kunimitsu!” without thinking. What Tezuka did to him then has him thinking he should never refer to Tezuka by his given name in a public place. But “buchou” is still the word that comes to his mouth most easily when he speaks to Tezuka. Always my captain, Ryoma had purred into Tezuka’s ear on Christmas morning. Such an easy, familiar word, but it’ll never quite have the same connotations for either of them ever again.
December 31st, and while both of them have had invitations from their friends to go see the fireworks, they’ve both declined. Instead, they’re curled up together on Ryoma’s bed, lazily and unhurriedly exploring already-familiar territory. Ryoma thinks that maybe he’s always known what Tezuka would feel like. Maybe that’s why it feels like he’s remembering rather than learning. Maybe that’s why it feels like he’s coming home.
“It’s going to be boring while I wait for you,” he mutters into Tezuka’s shoulder.
“I’m graduating soon,” Tezuka points out.
“University,” Ryoma grumbles.
“It’s not that long,” Tezuka says, and Ryoma takes a deep breath and tries to burrow into Tezuka.
I love you, he mouths against Tezuka’s skin, and though he hasn’t made a sound, Tezuka’s arms tighten around him for a second.
“Wait a while,” Tezuka murmurs. “And grow stronger.” He pauses, and there’s something like a smile in his voice when he says, “You still have a long way to go.”
“You too, buchou,” Ryoma retorts immediately. “Don’t get careless, now.”
The sound of the fireworks echoes in the distance. Ryoma shifts to get a better angle. The first few kisses, he remembers, were a little awkward as they learned how to adjust for their respective heights and sizes. Now they’ve learned and he takes advantage of that knowledge, tilting his head just so in a way that makes Tezuka’s hand automatically come up to cradle his head, because he’s learned that Tezuka loves to play with his hair, and that generally leads to good things. It does this time too.
“Is your alarm set?” Tezuka asks him later. He nods and sleepily wriggles into a comfortable position. Tezuka’s body is wrapped around him snugly and they fall asleep quickly.
The alarm goes off a few hours later. Too early, Ryoma thinks grumpily, but carefully untangles himself from Tezuka and slaps it silent. Tezuka blinks sleepy eyes at him and Ryoma bends to kiss his cheek.
“Go back to sleep,” he whispers. Tezuka’s eyes drift shut slowly, and Ryoma realises that Tezuka hadn’t even woken up properly. A small smile plays around his lips as he slips out for a shower.
By the time he gets back to his room, the sun’s just starting to rise. He’s got some time to spare, so he sits on the futon they didn’t use and watches Tezuka sleep. Later – he’s lost track of how long he’s spent like that – Nanako raps quietly on the door and pokes her head in.
“We’ll have to leave soon,” she reminds him, and he nods without looking at her. Her eyes soften as she takes in the expression on his face. “Half an hour more,” she cautions, and closes the door as quietly as she can.
Ryoma does his best to memorise the sight of Tezuka like this.
Tezuka’s hair is a little more mussed than usual, but it’s a good look on him anyway. Other than that, he appears as composed as ever, even when Fuji shoots him a knowing look at the airport.
“Here,” Fuji says, and gives Ryoma a copy of the photograph he’d taken. It’s already been placed in a simple wooden frame, and all of them have written comments and encouragement on them. Ryoma looks for Tezuka’s message. It’s on the back, the same thing he’d written back when Ryoma had left that first time. Fly.
Ryoma places the photo in his carry-on reverently, then resigns himself to suffering through the hugs and back-slapping his team is determined to inflict on him. “We’ll be watching all your matches, ochibi!” Kikumaru proclaims. “So don’t you go losing anything!”
“Give my regards to aunt and uncle,” Nanako says. “And Karupin. Have a safe flight, Ryoma-kun.”
“Take care of yourself,” Oishi tells him. “Don’t ignore your health!”
“I won’t,” he says, and tries to make his escape.
“Write,” Tezuka tells him, and Ryoma stops short. After a moment, a slow smirk spreads across his face.
“Yeah,” he agrees. “Of course I will… buchou.”
Tezuka, Ryoma notes with slight disappointment, has too much self-control to react to the particular inflection Ryoma has placed on the last word. It’s just as well. They don’t want to get thrown out of the airport for indecency, after all. He finds his passport and ticket and breaks away from the group.
“Buchou!” he calls without looking back, and switches to English. “Don’t be too long!”
He’s just turned seventeen when he enters the Australian Open and utterly decimates his competition. Nanjirou signs him up for the rest of the Grand Slam tour and he goes on to give a good showing through the rest of the year. He’s runner-up at the French Open and though he messes up a little at Wimbledon, placing ninth, he eventually wins the U.S. Open.
“Congratulations,” Tezuka tells him over the phone. “Pity about Wimbledon.”
“I was sick,” Ryoma grumbles. “But whatever. There’s next time. When are you going to join the circuit? They’re already surprised enough that I’m from Japan. Imagine what will happen when you join in.”
“Soon,” Tezuka promises.
“I’m looking forward to it,” Ryoma says. “I’m taking a break next year though. Fewer tournaments, and I’m only hitting the U.S. Open.”
“Time for a vacation?” Tezuka asks archly.
“I’ll be in Japan in two months,” Ryoma says, rolling over on his back. The hotel’s got very comfortable beds, he thinks, but he’ll still be glad when he can get home to his own bed. His hand drifts lower and he fingers the elastic band on his track pants.
“Buchou,” he murmurs. There’s a pause.
“Yes?” Tezuka asks cautiously.
“Talk,” Ryoma demands, sliding and shimmying awkwardly to get his clothes off one-handed. “About anything. I want to hear your voice.”
Tezuka hesitates only slightly before he starts to explain some of his coursework at university to Ryoma. Ryoma closes his eyes and listens to his tone, to that deep, slightly rough voice, and barely registers it when Tezuka stops talking about schoolwork and starts telling him where and how to touch himself. The door’s locked and the room’s reasonably sound-proof, so he doesn’t care when his breath first starts to hitch and then the breathy moans come from his throat, the strangled pleas for Tezuka to keep talking, please, Kunimitsu, keep going, don’t stop. It’s barely ten minutes later that he’s coming so hard the phone’s creaking around the force of his grip.
“Ryoma,” Tezuka sighs, and it’s only now that the blood’s stopped pounding in his ears that Ryoma realises Tezuka’s breathing is harsh and irregular too.
“I can’t wait to see you,” he purrs into the phone, and then has to laugh at the choked sound on the other end. They’re continents apart, they’re racking up huge phone bills, they’ve just jerked off to the sound of each other’s voices, and somehow everything’s still perfect as Ryoma says, “We’ll really shake up the tennis world, right?”
“The world in general,” Tezuka corrects. Ryoma thinks of everything that has happened to him since he arrived in Seigaku, since he met Tezuka, since he’s been forced to grow, to evolve, to fly. He thinks of everything that Tezuka is to him, everything that Tezuka is to tennis. Tezuka’s right, of course.
“I love you,” he says in English. It’s the first time either of them have said it out loud, and he repeats himself in Japanese.
“Aa,” Tezuka replies, and there’s something so achingly tender in his voice that Ryoma has to close his eyes.
“Stay on the line,” Ryoma says, and Tezuka makes a sound of acquiescence. They don’t bother speaking any more and Ryoma slowly falls asleep to the sound of Tezuka’s breathing, imagining a time when he’ll have that breathing right next to him.
He doesn’t dream.
~fin
C&C?
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I love your characterisation and the interaction between Tezuka and Echizen, and Tezuka's mother made me laugh!
Post another fic soon!!!!!!
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Tezuka's mum was so much fun to write... though I think Karupin was still my favourite to write, heh.
I'm scribbling a few other ideas at the moment, but whether they'll become fully-fledged fic is another matter altogether. We'll see! ^_^;
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Ryoma's conversations with Karupin at the start. How Ryoma remembers that time he ate lunch with Tezuka and only later realises that they didn't talk. The tennis, and the characterisation... Tezuka's family were excellent! The interrogation made me laugh. And I just adored how unspoken everything was.
It was sort of sad and heart-wrenching at the start, then happy, then bittersweet, and I just loved the build-up and the little asides and the writing style and you ended it in such a lovely way asdfjsdaljfdslkfj it destroys my coherency. The pacing was just perfect. I really can't find anything to criticise, because it has left me floating on a lovely warm cloud and I sort of just want to go hug something soft and squishy.
Superbly written. *____* Really tugged at the heartstrings, yet wasn't soppy at all. Thank you for making my day with this.
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... And I never did review that, did I? O__O;
You have no idea how much I squeed when I saw this review; I had to wait a few days so you'd get something other than *SQUEEFLAIL* and even now...
Glad you liked the conversations with Karupin. They were some of my favourite parts to write, heh... if only because Ryoma's a lot cuter and easy-going around Karupin than around, you know, humans. And Ayana was way too much fun to write too. <3
I'm so glad you liked this, and I guess I'm taking this opportunity to tell you that your writing is amazing too and makes me go GUH *_* Thanks so much for the review!
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Thanks for the review! <3
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Oh, and btw? Icon love!
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I hope you write much, much more! A lot!
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Phonesex is what teenage boys resort to when they're half a world from each other. *grins* From your reaction, I'm guessing it wasn't too awkward, so this is me heaving a huge sigh of relief.
Thanks for the review! <3
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I'm so relieved you liked the ending; I agonised over it for ages, so it's nice to know it works after all. <3 And they are rather inevitably drawn together, aren't they? ♥
Thanks so much for the review!
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Thanks for the review~
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If there's one thing I wanted to get across, it was that Ryoma without Tezuka isn't quite whole. They both push each other further than they'd have gone alone - they need each other, so it really is a sort of inevitable relationship... as far as I'm concerned, anyhow. =D
Tezuka Ayana = too much fun to write. ♥
Thanks for reviewing; I'm glad you liked the fic~
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Thanks for the review; I'm glad you liked it~
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I'm glad you liked the fic. The last time I wrote TeniPuri fic was... what, two or three years back [badfic! badfic!] so it's definitely a relief to know that this fic's met with such good reception. *hearts;
Also. Icon love. *squishes the chibis*
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(Anonymous) 2008-08-02 02:52 pm (UTC)(link)Hi! This is anon who should not be here, but jkhadgjadh. Was pointed here and I couldn't not review this.
Firstly,
The place he grew up in versus the place he grew up in.
had me totally hooked. Which, wow, Not even a paragraph into it.
Then,
Taller, he wants to reply. Hopefully, anyway.
just has me sparkling at you. You've captured his voice brilliantly, and he hasn't even spoken yet. ♥
Then there's the part with Susannah. See, this is what I wrote to my friend while reading:
It takes a very good writer to make me doubt canon, because for a moment I thought I'd just forgotten about some obscure character by that name and, um, I AM STILL KIND OF IN DOUBT RIGHT NOW? I'm wracking my brain for answers. The closest I get to is Hannah, but that can't be it since she's not even his age or in America or-- SEE? STILL DOUBTING. jakhgfadskjf
The part – I won't quite because it's about the whole section – with Nanjiroh and Rinko was great, especially when Nanjiroh spits his water all over Ryoma, and when he laughs at his black eye (which, oh, the way Ryoma gets it *_*) and how they play tennis together. Then the domesticity when Ryoma lobs the ball right at Nanjiroh's head and the interaction with his mother. ♥ I needed that, I really did, because a certain someone who I won't name has been making me not appreciate him as much as he should be appreciated. <3
Ryoma's only fifteen and he thinks he's getting old. Awww. But for all the happy, fuzzy feelings, the parts where he keeps deleting his words, and keeps trying not to think, and then when he says "Buchou," has me wibbling. It's just undertone sad, but then.
The emails. Karupin. And the letter. And KARUPIN. AND ALL I CAN SAY: ♥♥♥
A part that has me confused is the emails, however. At first you stated, "his computer here doesn’t have Japanese font capability." then later on he's typing emails to Kawamura, and everyone else. I'm assuming he'd gotten programs installed for that, and you just didn't mentioned that. :D
And, okay, I realize this isn't going to work, this whole, reading while writing down the things the stick out and make me flail about mindlessly thing. Because I keep losing my line of thought and couldn't enjoy this as much as I want to. So I'm going to go back and reread it all again, in one go, without a break.
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(Anonymous) 2008-08-02 02:54 pm (UTC)(link)And then you have captured my heart completely with Ayana and Kunikazu (and Kuniharu, too, despite not having him in there a lot but ajksdfghjkafh). They, just after Tezuka and Ryoma, are my most adored people in the series, and the way you write them? sdjkhgjkadfhakjuf What can I saaaay? If we were in the same room, I'd be flailing about uncontrollably. *______*
Tezuka. And Ryoma. Together. You. Guh.
If I try to say anything coherent to that, well, I'm afraid my keyboard doesn't have the capabilities to express the joy I feel, so I can't. I'll just say that when I'm happy, my eyes have this annoying habit of closing to crescents. And throughout reading all this, my eyes were (are still) stuck in that ever tense crescent shape while I squinted at the screen in total glee. Bothersome when I’m trying to read, but jkahf. HAPPY FEELINGS. BOUNCING. JSDGHADKJGH ♥♥♥
And you know? I wish I still owned a kaleidescope, so I could look through it and always think of this when I peer at the beautiful symmetrical patterns. And I'm gonna save this to read over again and again. And I hope you write more, and that come end of the year, hopefully I'll be able to come up with a proper mind frame to leave you with a better review, and, then, I'll not be anon either, so. :D Okay, shutting up now.
Thank you. *_* ♥!
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You just totally made my day. I think I can go do my reading for class now and not bitch about it. Just - ♥
[Anon may definitely be here because Anon totally rocks. Also, feel free to point other people this way. *grins*]
Susannah's an OC. I had it in mind that she was a neighbour, therefore the inviting-over-when-parents-are-away business, but I didn't think she needed that much elaboration, because, you know... Her sole purpose in this fic is to make Ryoma realise that [a] kissing a girl does NOTHING for him and [b] kissing anyone who isn't Tezuka does nothing for him either. =D
Nanjirou's inexplicably fun to write. He's such an idiot. *grins* And Rinko totally deserves more airtime; I think she's a very undervalued character.
Karupin and Ryoma are SO MUCH FUN. It's really only around Karupin that Ryoma acts his age and is [dare I say it] cute. Of course, he's kind of adorable around his team-mates sometimes too, but with Karupin he doesn't have that "yeesh, this is embarrassing" expression on his face, y'know? Karupin owns him, not the other way around, imo. *grins*
Emails. Right, I did actually have an explanation for that which somehow just never made its way into the fic - there didn't seem to be anywhere it really fit well. Maybe I'll go back and see if I can't insert a line somewhere to clear that up. What I was thinking was that he wrote emails to those of his team members whose English was at least passably good. In other words, Fuji, Taka-san [all that BURNING! has to have come from somewhere] and Tezuka [if he ever managed to write him...].
Either he [a] asks the person he's writing to, to fill in the others or [b]adds messages for the others that will be passed on or [c] sends snail mail/postcards to the others. I don't think he's much of a letter-writer, really, but whether he admits it or not, he's got a soft spot for his old team, so he'd at least send a letter to each of them every so often. Maybe not regularly per se, but he'd do it [in my head, at least].
Anyway, that's the explanation. Now I should go re-read this thing and figure out if I can sum it up in one line somewhere. *grins* Thanks for pointing out it was a little confusing there!
Ryoma's actually easier for me to write than Tezuka, personally speaking. I think I identify more with him. I really want to slap him sometimes and other times I really want to pull an Eiji and squish him, and I like characters that make me feel like that. Ryoma's at his best when he's interacting with the regulars, imo, because they're the ones who taught him how to be part of a team. Tezuka's the one who brought him into the fold, as it were, and who's constantly pushing him to go further, but the whole team's support matters just as much too. Individually, there are some characters in Seigaku that I - not dislike, but am more or less neutral about - but together? So much fun. The dynamics between them are hilarious... and sometimes, really sweet.
[damn LJ and it's character limits!]
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I think I might have to write Tezuka-family more now. <3
Crescent eyes... Fuji? =O
And your last paragraph just made me go *SQUEE* and then *FLAIL* and then *MELT*. Just so you know. I'm scribbling some random ideas at the moment but this fic - it was completely out of the blue, really. I hadn't watched/read any TeniPuri in a couple of YEARS and then I happened to come across the early episodes on YouTube and thought "hey, kinda nostalgic" and rewatched it and got blindsided by the ZukaRyo [again!] and this entire fic was written in three days, the last of which was spent editing and agonising over whether it was postable. You have no idea how happy I am that it's gotten the reception it has. ♥♥♥
Pleasepleaseplease come back and leave another non-anon review so I know who it is that I'm metaphorically flailing over. =D
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(Anonymous) 2008-08-03 07:07 am (UTC)(link)[Seriously, anon is breaking law... something in anon's nonexistent books. BUT THAT IS ALRIGHT, BECAUSE OMFG PILLARS. *_____*]
Oh, definitely no need to elaborate on her at all! My first thought when I saw her name, admittedly, was fjkhsgkjdh D_________8! OC alarms were ringing. Though, that's less a thought, more a reaction. Then when I read on I was like, heeeey! Horrible that she kissed him, awesome that I barely spared her a thought and that Ryoma so obviously does not react. And then, cue the confusion! WAIT, DOES SHE EXIST? Barely any explanation on her at all! Which totally works, because I do not want to know more of her outside that, at all.
Rinko, gosh, totally not acknowledged as much as she should be. And Nanjiroh is LOADS of fun. See, it's very hard to remember how absolutely amazing he is when a certain person up there -- not pointing fingers, noope *whistles* 0;D -- likes to make him the villain. I'll have to drag another friend in to read this when she gets back into Tenipuri gear, if she hasn't already, AND SHE WILL LOVE HIM AGAIN AND BE HEALED OF ALL THE MENTAL TRAUMA THAT S-- Uh.
YES so much to Ryoma and Karupin. Honestly, I usually don't get the hype with Karupin that a lot of people seem to experience. (That's not a well known fact, because a lot of the times it seems like I'm in the bandwagon too? Ahaaa. :D;) I mean, I like him lots, and totally find him adorable and endearing, but usually, to me, it's Tezuka and Ryoma, and Karupin is there occasionally. But in this, awww. Awwwww! I can't imagine Karupin without Ryoma. Or Ryoma without Karupin, and it's just adorable, their relationship together. The interaction was so fun.
I had gotten that initial impression first, where he writes English to the English-fluent, but this line had me slipping: It’s not like writing to Momo-senpai or Kikumaru-senpai, when anything you tell them will be across town by nightfall. And that whole paragraph explaining everyone else? I'm not sure, that had me backtracking and thinking, wait, he sends them emails? Granted, you did mention email and letters. I just found it extremely vague, but it was just slight and didn't really impact on the flow of the story majorly so! I think the only reason I picked up on it was because I was already suffering major confusion from the OC. So, yeah, that's just me thinking too much. :D;
...but the whole team's support matters just as much too.
And this is where I fail! I've never really been comfortable with writing the team; am always focusing on just the pair, because that's where my focus lies. I think it's great that you include them all, and when you say:
The dynamics between them are hilarious... and sometimes, really sweet.
Completely true. (;
[Word limit utterly FAILS. *rages*]
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(Anonymous) 2008-08-03 07:09 am (UTC)(link)WRITE MORE OF THEM PLEEEASE. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH OF THEM. :"| Kuniharu's dorkiness compells you. (Serioously, he's like Tezuka's brother. *_*)
Crescent eyes... Fuji? =O
sakjdghkjsdghjkdfhkjadhfgkjHSGKJHKJADGHKJHSGSH. D8! Uh, no, nononono, nooooo. I, no. My eyes never close completely! Otherwise I'll end up walking into walls more often than usual. :|!
[ajsghjksg HUMAN CONFIRMATION THING HATE YOOOOU. *twitches*]
SCRIBBLING RANDOM IDEAS IS A+++! :"3 I am so happy you decided to rewatch it again! And, speaking of, I INTERNETSTALKED YOUR PERSONAL JOURNAL. As best I could, really. I found such gems hidden away in your memories. Like, the resurrection!fic? AND AND AND. HP/POT FIC? WITH D1? CAN I JUST. KSJDGHKSDGH NIOOOOOOOOOOOOU. Eeeeh. And Yagyuu. And Niou. And switching. AND NIOOOU. *_*
This love? Doubled. Keep writing more, and I promise I'll keep up my end of this reception. ;D Not sure why you'd be worrying over it, because it's seriously amazing. AMAZING. HAPPY SHINY BLINDINGLY AMAZING. Like, I want to kidnap you and tie you up and fling prompts at you and force-
Um.
/creepy.
Huum. To a lot of people, I've already as good as given myself away in these comments. Haaa. Oops. :D; But a hint: I am perhaps the latest person that had friended your writing journal. ;3
♥
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(Anonymous) 2008-08-03 07:16 am (UTC)(link)Also, anon would like to apologize to a certain someone who likes to pick on Nanjiroh that anon does not mean to pick on her, it just happens. :|
0:"D
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Bwahahah I know who you're talking about. I love Nanjirou, but, um, I loved those fics as well, I have to say. *sheepishly* Still! And I've loved Karupin since that one scene in the anime when - I think Karupin wanted to eat Nanjirou's lunch [of fish] or something and Nanjirou says no and Karupin keeps meowing and he finally goes "all right, geez!... just the bones." and Karupin pounces and off-screen we get a scream of "Don't bite there!" which made me go "Wait, WHERE?" and wonder if Ryoma'd trained his cat to bite his oyaji in certain sensitive places. 8D
I can't read 10.5. @__@ The copy I have is in Japanese which, uh, I don't know much of and so I'm reduced to petting the pretty pictures and [in moments of desperation] going through it with a dictionary. If only to figure out the Tezukafamily interactions, heh. Also? I need that doujinshi. It sounds so sparkly and fun. Actually, I just need ZukaRyo doujinshi in general. *sighs*
Okay, okay, so you're not Fuji. But - "walking into walls more often than usual" - implies you do walk into walls even with your eyes wide open? ... Hey, sounds like me. =D
GAH resurrection!fic. I was just re-reading that on my comp and wondering if I should re-write it because I wrote that ages ago but then I got lazy and uh, didn't. To think I have two more chapters outlined which I haven't touched!
... I'm totally letting myself in for being badgered into finishing it, aren't I?
Ummm. No kidnapping and tying up. *backs away cautiously* But by all means, please fling prompts at me! Prompts give me things to occupy myself with
during class! Prompts make me happy! Especially ZukaRyo prompts, now that I'm writing them again. <3I think I can guess who you are, but I won't ask because it's more fun that way. Hee!
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This hit the spot after the recent lack of good TezuRyo and it hit the spot hard. Guh, long!fic with Ryoma/Karupin conversations and the aching bittersweet beauty of all the unspokenness and the lovely wonderful characterizations and intensity of their interactions. The writing/style was gorgeous and was perfect for the story and Tezuka and Ryoma and together.
Kaidoh and Momo and Fuji, especially Fuji were superbly fitted in and Tezuka's family was adorable and I wonder if I should begin to explain how awesome the end was except you've left me with insane levels of incoherency because this is just so good.
Thank you, really, please write more - for this is absolutely stunning. ♥♥♥
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Brilliant. No, really. Makes me squee. I love how your Echizen has matured a little. Like, not so hung up over losing, and his dirty mind seeing innuendos everywhere. XD
Also, in this fic, what was it that made Ryoma stop enjoying tennis? And how did playing Tezuka help him with that? ^^;; Might be a stupid question, but...yeah.
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I loved every bit of it even if it did take me a while to get through it. I was hoping for a scene with Tezuka finally joining the Pros. I'll keep my fingers crossed though.
You so totally rock! Keep up the good work!
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Thank God for del.icio.us and whoever put this story in his favorites, or I would have never found it!
THIS is the kind of TezuRyo I *love* ♥
I think you captured their voices and their personalities perfectly, and their interactions..!
I was afraid most of the good writers had left this fandom (or at least paring), I'm so glad I found you and this story! ^^
Now I'm off to read Thw Winding Path ♥
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You write them so eloquently and I'm in awe at how perfect it all comes out.
♥
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Wow.
Wow.
... Wow. This is entirely beyond me to contemplate at this moment.
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Okay, which parts I liked? I liked Ryoma, he was so... he was so good in this. I liked him missing Japan and missing that something in tennis, and then going to Japan and meeting everyone and finally being able to be with everyone. (And I'm not sure if it was your intention, but I appreciated the small MomoKai subtext.) And how the team was still there for them and then Tezuka. Tezuka having grown up so much from what he was but still being Tezuka, you know. And the whole everyone is moving on in their lives, and Ryoma wondering how many will still play tennis the next time he meets them, it's just... real. As much as we want, the boys won't stay in Seigaku tennis club forever, most of them will stop playing tennis and the team will be gone but for a moment, it was Ryoma's team again and everything was like it used to be and this fic was like... one last glance to that before entering into the future.
Ah, now I've embarrassed myself enough with my rambling. Originally I wanted to thank you for writing this because it is good. So... thank you. ^^
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(Anonymous) 2010-01-12 11:49 am (UTC)(link)-Aliah